Passion.

nostalgia..

 Phew!! Its sunday again.. The only day I look forward to and wish it never ended .. Lazing around.. Today something got into me and started cleaning my room... Took me 3 hours....
    Was looking through the clutter when I found some things which took me in flashback..
1. My 10th standard coaching classes report.. I had a whooping 97%.. I m sure keeping it to show my grandkids someday.. lols.. can't trust myself to preserve anything that long..
2.  Silver medal for essay writing in standard 4th.. My journey of writing started there... priceless..
3. Slam book filled by my classmates in the last month of school.. nostalgic..
4. A wooden carving given by my closest friend which reads, "FRIENDS ARE GOLDEN, BUT MY FRIEND IS GOLD.."  It's something I can never misplace...
5. Handmade greetings and some paintings gifted to me during school days..
6. A number of files and more than 7 diaries.. Each diary has a part of me.. Some have my random outbursts at the world.. Some have me at most vulnerable times.. One is a complete dedication to someone..
7. Careful tucked in sheet of paper having all the code words and its meaning.. Its still kept as a memory of those days when GCMT gang  had lots of secrets...
8. My first ever diary which consists of only 10 pages.. Written about Kargil war!!! Quite a patriotic I was.. Was barely 6 or 7 then.. Wanted to send my "still to be born bro" into army..What a thought!!!
9. A copy of "My experiments with truth" which is one of the very few books I have started but not completed yet..
10. A rough sheet which was written to justify why I should get the "best student" prize.. It was written by one of my teacher.. I did get that prize..

Told you patriotic I was !!! Forgot to mention.. I did come across my childhood pics and I simply adore my babyself!!! 

Life is boring...

 Life is soo boring when ..
1. It's a second saturday and you have a holiday and you suddenly don't know what to do with your life..
2. When you spend the first half of the day shopping for someone else at Linking Road, Bandra.. It's so exhausting..  Bargaining, bargaining!! Ask the price.. 650 bucks for that bag you picked up?? Really?? Chalo uncle 200 me de do!! Then it starts till its finally ,"chalo madam na aapka na mera 300 me lelo"...
3. When you don't have enough money to eat outside and go home early only to find no food at home.. This one happens with me all the time when I go out with friends and it is assumed that I will return home after lunch..
4. You can't sleep in the afternoon because there's carpentry work going on in your house..
5. You don't know what to study for exams..
6. When you know you don't have the mood to study..
7.When you come online to check your mails and by default land up on facebook  and there is no one you want to chat to..
8. When you come to think of ways why life is soo boring there are endless points you can write about..

Then suddenly the phone rings and the voice on the other end makes you realise that life is worth it!!

THIRST

To be in a crowd left alone,

Hurting inside, outside all smiles

Introvert among the flirtatious,

River of darkness flowing through

Sadness engulfed all hopes to live,

Thirst for love never quenched..

College got over earlier than scheduled.. The happiest news one can hear on campus is, "Hey the lecture got cancelled". I was eager to reach home early and catch up on some sleep which has been eluding me. I had almost reached home when I realised that I didn't have the keys. In my hurry I had forgotten the key in the morning and now I had to go to get a spare key which is always kept at a relatives's place. Off I went, only to reach home at my regular time..  "Man proposes, God disposes" how true!!
   Exams are fast approaching and I am still suffering from "no study" inertia..  Funny how I get all ideas when the exams are around the corner.. So many stories going on in my head.. So many things to discuss.. When the exam is done and I am free all these thoughts turn to mud.. The mind is a complete vacuum then.. 
   I am having a tough time getting over facebook.. It irritates me when people tag me in anything and everything.. Right from a candle to a calender and then there are more such irritating people who comment on it... What is to be commented on something so dumb??? Hate it when I log in I have more than 14 notification and I wondered who missed me so badly, only to find out that some scatterbrains have commented on some random snaps in which I don't even figure..  Still I log in more than once a day.. Every single pretext I get.. I m now in a complicated relation with facebook.. HEhehehe let something new come and see the speed with which I get over it!!! 
 A new story cooking in my head and I am convincing it to stop the train of thoughts because my second baby "one such story" still has a story left to complete.. "monster and me" is completed long back but yet to be posted! The new born is taking all the time... 
There is much to be done and less time to execute everything.. Take for example :my journals... Reminds me that I still don't have a file required to put in my pharmaceutical analysis practical papers.. Some other day I will tell what I understand about it :P  Getting bored now... yawn yawn...
  
   

finally Proton on board!! I will welcome him only when he writes the first post!! Hope that is pretty soon Proton..
Well pretty much wasted half a day thinking about a new blog name only to think of none! College was fun.. but now there is a lot of homework pleading to be done.. A lecture I so not look forward to, looming over my head.. Tomorrow is going to be difficult! Might as well use today to have some fun.. Hey what's wrong with me??? I was the good girl once.. Always attentive and with a complete homework.. College has got into me badly... I pretty much doze off in more than half of the lectures..
  The song that is playing in my head is "Darling aankho se aankhe chaar karne do".. Yeah yeah I know, it's a bit late in the day to like the song.. It's been all over the music stations for long now.. I take my own sweet time to like things.... Particularly like the line,"Public me sansani ek baar karne do"... Naughty naughty thoughts I get.... :P
   Okay now I admit I don't know what sense I am making.. One thing I like about writing here is that I don't have to think of what I am writing.. It's just a spontaneous act.. When the final product is ready, I read it once and post it.. Else it simply gets saved in drafts.. Same as processing my thoughts and then deciding whether to speak or not.. I am making an exception here.. I am simply going to post this.. Like it or not..
   Might as well do my homework now... The others might have been half through and here I am sitting and typing like there is no tomorrow.. What if there is no tomorrow??? Scary!!!
  


P.S: I m loving this blog!!! It's more like a private den now.. Or m I turning schizophrenic?? There are hardly followers!!

Wedding bells!!

  Last week has been very hectic..  It's that time of the year when marriages are lined up one after the other thanks to the auspicious star alignments.. With marriages follows the competition to outdo the another in the arrangements.. I usually keep myself out of the task of attending weddings and socialising with people I will hardly ever interact again.. It is too superficial.. I prefer knowing a few and keeping in touch..  Wedding receptions are all about jewellery exhibition and match making. ( Anyone and everyone can get a word out for proposals on such occasions. Imagine some over active aunt asking my age so that she can gauge if she has anybody in view.  The word must get out that "I exist"..)
  This week I had to attend two marriages along with the ceremonies prior to it.  The first one was of my only neighbor. She got married to her long term sweetheart. Being the only flat next to my own it was like the ceremonies are going on in my own house. The ceremonies went on for 5 days prior to the D-day. Gujaratis have quite a jovial way of celebrating the upcoming wedding. Garba, mehendi( I too got both my hands colored) and then some other ceremony I wasn't present at.  Ofcourse the DJ night! That's a modern addition. No matter how lavish a wedding is, it will always end up getting compared to another one.
   The current trend is to have a quiet wedding with only a few attendees and then throw a grand reception party. Reason: ALCOHOL AND NON-VEG AS YET NOT FULLY WELCOMED FOR WEDDING FEAST.  Hello?? What about the Engagement, Mehendi party???
   Yesterday had to go for another reception of someone in the neighboring wing. This time because they are "mangaloreans" and trust me that is a big connect one can have being a fellow mangalorean! The couple themselves turned up late( wondering if in the next reception the couple wont turn up at all?? competition you know!) The reception was too grand.. More delicacies than one person can have. Wide variety to please every section of the crowd. More choices for desserts. Everything pretty much more out of limits.. But they missed having pickles and lemon ! See that is only me complaining.. Not that I actuaaly ever have pickles in my diet..There were many such mouths which voiced it to the hosts!! Talk about being mannerless !
    So I have kept all my appointments.. Managed 3 days pretty well without Mom.. She is out of town.. She will be back today and for her own peace of mind, with all that I ordered.. Sunday is passing away too fast.. Again college tomorrow.. Exams approaching and I don't have notes! Once again will have to cancel my plan of going to Pune to see my darling and my sis..  Darling is turning 2 years old this week.. Why do exams always come up when there is something interesting to do? I so so want to go out of town!! Life as it is!! too trying and too tiring..
   There are 176 profile views on my blog and only 3 followers!! who are these people viewing my blog so many times ???

It's a real task to think about a suitable title for all the posts.. I wont be giving any title unless its totally different from my usual thoughts...
   Its eid tomorrow ... holiday for college.. how refreshing.. Ever since college has reopened I m always waiting for a holiday..
   Lectures have resumed.. Boring as ever.. There are some lectures in which I am happily lost in another world.. until attendance ofcourse.. That's really important.. The whole point of sitting through the lectures..
  The group has grown from 3 to 5.. earlier it was just me, Akshata and Manasi.. Then came Nupura who made us even.. Now the new entrant is Prerna.. So makes us a group of 5.. Reminds me of the school gang.. We too were 5.. The closest friends I have made.. Touchwood we are all still very much connected..  Miss the school gang but having the time of my life with the Bcp aka "bhukkad" gang..
    Tuesdays it is always the 8.24 return local train which goes of platform number 7 from where Shweta boards the train and we catch up on all the latest things going on in life.. Sundays I meet Gayatri... well haven't met her due to college festivals... Kalyani is always at a call's distance. ( when the call isn't busy !!)
     The college gang means more birthdays, more discussions on what gifts to give, more gossip ( yeah inevitable in a girl's gang), more hangouts, more problems to sort out( from studies to wardrobe to playing agony aunt).. More silly jokes, more teasing and the list goes on and on.. Pity the guys in our life!!!
     So the sem 1 results are out!! Passed with a distinction much to my own surprise!!(Trust me guys atleast now when I m making it public) The poem is published in the magazine for which  I have already looted 2 lassi from Akshata..
      Valentine's day passed without the valentine.. Made chocolates which burnt in the oven.. Thanks Kalyani!! Made brownie which was supervised by Kalyani.. Didn't turn out too well but nevertheless "bhukkad" gang digged at it and bro as always loves anything I make.. I know, sweet he is!!  So the attempt wasn't so disheartening..Kalyani was supporting as well.. I wanted to make brownie like her and surely someday I will.. But I made chocolates again today to give them for boosting my morales!! Devils !!
     Chalo too much said today.. Why isn't anyone following this blog??
     

One gets everything.. someone gets nothing...

 The building I stay in has a "pooja committee" to plan all the cultural activities.. The pooja is on this Saturday... Last sunday they happened to organise a sports day in our  builiding..
   The day started with a lot of enthusiasm.. By 10 o'clock all the participants had gathered.. Majority participants were the kids below 5 years.. The building has a majority of this population..
    The kids were accompanied by their parents( both of them there to adore their child's race, possibly the first one in the many yet to come), their water bottles, cap, etc etc all to make sure the tots had a comfortable race..
    It was quite a cute sight to see the parents cheer up their kid and the child smiling.. Few running out of their tracks and picking up the potato of the neighbouring track for potato race ( there by leaving the next child with no option but to take someone else's potato). It was quite a riot!! That grin on the face of the winning child's parents was something to look at, while the child was clueless of what he had done so great.. Amazing how these kids love the cheering.. some even ran after the race was over just to get those claps.. How much they crave attention and how much they get!! Every parent present had eyes only for his kid.. continuous cheering and some even went near the tracks to give the instructions to the kid(yeah yeah as if he is running for the country!!) and others merely for moral support.. How protected, how secure the kids feel... Just couldn't stop smiling all the time I was there..
  It was afternoon and I had to go to college for the festival.. The footover bridge is a mini shopping centre of sorts in Santacruz.. From pirated books to socks to wallpapers, you have a lot of choice. Just near the exit there sits a child not more than five.. with maimed body.. The shocking reality is that it is very clear he wasn't born that way.. He has no arms.. Everyone knows that it is a big racket but we all go about being blind to it.. The child often tries to do tricks with his feet.. He has a tin box i which sympathetic onlookers put some coins.. I kept thinking if I should put some money and make his efforts count , but I knew I m indirectly feeding the devil who has done this to that child.. I truly did feel helpless.. It's one of those times I pray harder to God to stop this injustice.. He's just a kid.. How can a human give birth to something that can do this to a small child.. He works there everyday although for limited time.. He has no protection, no security..
  One afternoon he was sleeping at his usual place with his legs placed on the wall.. My heart skipped a beat fearing the worst.. I so badly wanted to hold him close and spread a loving hand across him.. I hated being so powerless.. I couldn't go near him..
    Seeing the race in my building and smiling at those kids, suddenly the image of that child on the bridge flashed in my mind and within no time a tear welled up in my eyes.. Why is life so cruel?? One gets everything and someone gets nothing....

First day..

 It's been quite a few days since I started this blog.. But like most of the things in my life, nothing gets started without a kick.. So thought of kick starting the blog today..

   This is the very first post of this blog.. Attuned to the habit of always expecting the start to be light.. Remember the days when first day of school was always a half day.. No practicals in junior college in the first week of college after vacations.. You get me? It's on similar lines... So nothing major happening on my post today..
   The mind is completely refusing to work.. Here I am typing something I really have no idea where to end..
   One more day of practicals.. titrations... readings.. graph..ughhh!!!  Missed my favorite train yet again.. It's becoming a pattern now.. Yeah I am one of those who has a favorite in anything and everything... sounds weird but that's the still intact part of my otherwise extinct childishness.. Got mobbed in train ..quite literally.. I couldn't even feel  my own hands in that mad rush... Dead tired.. Facebooking is becoming boring day by day.. Hope something exciting comes up to replace it.. Yeah, I dumped orkut the moment I found Facebook.. I might as well dump Facebook..
    Microbiology practical tomorrow.. Wish I could threaten those darn micro organisms to show themselves. I am always the last one to leave the lab.. Never find the right things... Yet another day of toiling.. then off for the weekend.. That's what keeps me going..
    Anyway enough for today.. Got to complete those journals as well...  Will try to be consistent with this blog atleast..:P cant blame me..I was born with short term interest...


P.S If you didn't find anything worth reading then you are in your right mind!!!