First things first, my exams ended ages ago !! So that is not the reason for me being away from this blog.. There are a string of things I have been doing since college went on vacations and started again!
This vacation has been the best vacation so far for me..
Starting with my unexpected visit to Mangalore.. A cousin of mine got married this june! Everything was planned in a jiffy and I hardly had the time to gather myself from the lazy schedule I was having as soon as the exams ended..
Next on the list was an industrial trip to Goa.. It turned out to be a mini vacation which somehow packed in a 20 minute visit to the industry!!!
I had a great time with my friends and this was the first time I was allowed to go out of town without family! So finally they thought I m mature enough to take care of myself! Progress on that front :P
During this period, I deactivated my facebook profile ( an effort to experience life as it was before facebook happened) , spent time on gmail, tweeted nonstop, wrote post after post on my creative blog One such story, commented on fellow bloggers' work and started contributing to a book review blog A lot of pages.
I eventually was back on facebook :)
Exhausted all the tales spinning in my mind.. scheduled posts , waited for comments, felt spent after the series and I realise who much I love writing!
College started and it was all about a new sense of bonding.. Goa did bring in some changes!
Drug Information Association Students Chapter is having its seminar on 29th July.. Being a core member I have been busy being a part of organising it. Busy is the best way to escape yourself and I m just loving this feeling.. At least for the time being I don't have to think of other things.. Making this event a success is all I think of..
College, studies, practicals and friends leave little time for blogging and hardly any time to think of creative tales.. A story is playing on my mind.. A little thinking over will give it its final shape and then I will get back to writing it.. Till then Soul Stormers has my attention :)
By the way Proton is not happening.. I will try bringing in some writers to contribute to Soul Stormers :)
Been long since I posted here.. I have a few things on my mind right now. Practical exams for this semester are over and done with. Now left with the theory exams. Glad to hand over the lab lockers !!! But I will miss the pharmaceutical analysis lab for
The only lab with a burette of 25ml. I can conveniently use it... Don't even ask what a task it is to use 50ml burette for someone with my height.
The only labwork which gets over in maximum 3 hours and minimum of 2!!
The only practical where the professor lets us be!
The only lab where you get to know, "who's dating who" hehehe.... if you have sharp eyes that is !!
The only lab where you can do group work...
The lab where all instructions are written!! Nothing left to byheart
So I have a string of things to be done now... Things on my mind are..
I have to write something which has been lurking in my mind for long..
I have to clean my wardrobe.
I have to clean my study drawers.
I have to sort my notes.. Lols whatever I have as yet..
I have to make a few notes.
I have to make a study timetable ... :) :) I know it sound funnny!!!!
We have an industrial visit to Goa in June.. Donno if i m going as yet!!!!!! :P :P
Ok now I better get going to what I have to do....
P.S If anybody is reading this please take the effort to follow or comment :P
The title speaks all about what I m feeling... It's public holiday today in Mumbai .. What has that got to do with my college keeping lectures? Yes, thats exactly how the situation is back at college.. No one cares what day it is.. Lectures are to be kept and portion is to be completed.. I somehow do drag myself out of the bed for the external faculty lectures but inhouse teachers keeping such lectures is too much of a demand to fulfill..
Got up from bed and went into the other room.. The sight of Mom, Dad and bro sleeping !!! I so so wanted to go back into the comfort of my bed and slip under the sheet...
There was some respite that the trains wouldn't be much crowded.. Chilled water on all my hopes.. Looked like everyone who stays at home (read the housewives, the small kids, the holidaying college-goers) stepped out and rushed into the public transport.. Didn't get a seat in bus and train!!! What a start!!
College was boring .. Lectures seemed like they are never going to end.. Had rice for lunch after a longggggg time.. Dozed off for a few minutes in the lecture that followed.. Some smart people bunked the lecture and I wish I had done the same.. ( Sorry Nupura, should have listened to you.. But I didn't know rice after so many days would get into my head.. literally!!!)
Relieved to be back home.. Scorching hot outside.. I either going to melt or get fried before the semester ends.. Who said Mumbai isn't hot???
Here I m typing my latest "meri life ka ek aur din" and my fellows must be busy with their nose buried in books( except Nupura.. she's my twin in this case.. last ones to study!! :) :) smart people I know !)
The post on one such story "A college crush" got me comments ( on the blog, on facebook, on cellphone and in person) that "it doesn't seem fiction".. Well it is fiction people.. My real love story would be nowhere close to it..
Now that you feel it's nonfiction I deserve a pat on my back!! :) Such comments make me feel I can do decent fictions :)
P.S: Readers please take the pain of commenting on the blog..
So it happened that I visited this very cute blog called "DIL KI BAAT BLOG KE SAATH".. I liked the feel and there I found a dog called "Kittu" adopted from bunny hero lab... I just visited the site to see what pets they had in store.. The moment I set my eyes on him, I fell for him... There he was and I knew I had to name him "SIMBA" . I colored him yellow just the way I had seen the "LION KING" on "JUST KIDS".. I adore him..
Then I did something silly which made simba come onto the blog twice.. Once on the sidebar and once on the top.. Yeah I know I suck at handling technology.. Fir pata nahi what all I tried but it made my BLOG a DISASTER as you might have seen the "SOUL STORMERS " thing has got hidden behind somewhere.. I did something with the CSS as PRoton said,"CSS KE SAATH PANGA Q LIYA"
The result is that my simba is gone.. I adopted Timothy on my other blog "one such story".. Now timothy is a tiger cub, inspired by a Ruskin bond tale I read in school..
Sorry for the horrible look of the blog but PRoton will set it right soon.. As he says he is the "BAAP" of this blog..
Today had my pharmaceutics practical.. YEt again got that cresol thingy.. The one which burnt my hand.. its done again.. The solution nowhere close to perfect, but much better than earlier one.. Overall ok ok day.. Came early ...
THe nose is blocked since last one week.. Coughing all the time.. Plus point is I get soup everyday :).. No one asks me to eat more than I want to.. I simply blame my "tonils" for my difficulty eating ,when infact I dont like that veggie or that dal.. Nice na???
Hope proton does the work early.. I have holiday for 2 days which means I can laze about reading my ebook "SHANTARAM"...
P.S :Proton no matter what you do, I m going to get Simba back!! :) :)
5 rupees.. The video was so beautifully made.. Captured the emotions so beautifully.. Simple story yet I could 'nthelp feeling the anxiety.. The love.. The fear.. The joy..
I have always had this soft corner for the rural story.. One thing about them is that they are so human.. No pretence like the urban ones.. When there is a child involved, could the emotions be any less honest?? The video took me back to the times I used to watch Malgudi days.. Stories which never can be forgotten.. Be it the naughty tales of Swami and his friends.. Be it the story of a poor man willing to sell his kidney for money and when he does he thinks of buying a pen for his daughter.. Be it the story of a 5 year old brilliant dancer who is plain scared when her parents talk to directors who wish to cast the girl in movies.. The girl is readied with make up which she hates.. She hides in the basket when the guests come.. When the director spots her and asks her , "Beti cinema pasand hai?" she innocently replies, "Nahi waha bahut andhera hota hai"... The naked feelings of apprehensions..
Having a translation is great but hadn't it been there I would still understand what the child went through... Because I went through the same state while watching the video and there in lies the beauty of this work..
Kids always find a way to melt my heart.. The boy in this video, I would like to believe his name was "Swami" because he has the same charm and eloquence of Swami from Malgudi days although a stark contrast being that this boy is obedient. . When he doesn't have money to buy the balloon and the balloon seller goes away, I feel like thrashing the balloon seller even if he was doing the practical thing..
When his mother first refuses to give money then looking at his face asks "how much do you want you said"? I m reminded of my own mother who has uttered the same dialogue for my endless whims.. Each time I end up spending my money and ask her, she says this.. All mothers in the world are made from the same mould.. :) :)
When the boy refuses to let of his money to his mother and gets beaten, I feel that helplessness.. That fear of not getting the money back..
When his money is lost and he walks all the way back to search it .. rummaging his bag.. I feel that desperation.. That frustration of losing my valued thing.. I get that feeling every time I feel I have lost my journal when I can't fish it out from my bag .. When he waits for the balloon man to come I feel his impatience.. When he is told the balloon rate has gone up, I feel that despair of inflation..
When he runs across the fields with his balloon, my heart leaps with joy... When he falls and the balloon bursts I feel the pain of heartbreak.. Of dream shattered... I m reminded of the way I felt when I was five and my balloon slipped from my hand and into the sky.. never to come back to me... I felt that tears in my eyes which were long dried since then... When he cried, I silently wept in my heart...
I hold myself again when I see him counting the days for the next friday to buy another balloon.. I know he will save enough to buy another one.. This time he won't run across the field jumping with joy. He would be careful and take it home and show his mother,"Look ma, I got my beautiful green balloon"..
The magic of this small 8 minute video is that it fills you with hope..
In many ways a small video symbolised life... I wish I was that simple.. I wish buying the green balloon would be all I wanted.. I wish I had the courage to pursue my dreams even after it shattered once.. I wish I was the five year child again and someone told me "there are problems bigger in life than a balloon gone up in the air"..
I know why this video struck chords so beautifully.. It had all the feelings exposed which we mask...
Watch the video to understand the conversation.. Loved the video for the simplicity and the way it touched my heart.. Hope you will like the video.. The video is in Tamil.. Though the conversation is translated in English, it is not very clearly seen.. Thought of writing down the conversation to make it easier for you.. To feel the connect please watch the video..
Kids:The balloon man's finally come to our place, folks!!
Balloons!! Balloons!!
Get me that balloon, bro! Balloon seller:Which one is it, lad? Kids:That one! That one! Balloon seller:Wait, wait! Calm down!
How many of you need specs, how many of you balloons?
Which balloon, re?
That one cost five bucks, guys
Cough up five, you! you've given only two
Run along now.
That's it for today, no more balloons for you.. Run along..
Then they come like I'm giving away balloons for free!
Hey you! what are you waiting for?
What do you want? come!
Boy:much is that balloon , anna? Balloon seller:Oh this one! That's two rupees. Boy:And the green one on top? Balloon seller:The green one?.. thats five rupees.
You wanna buy? Boy:I'm not having the money now, anna..But I will give it as soon as mother gets back home from work. Balloon seller:As soon as your mother comes..??
Then why don't you write to me when she arrives?
Probably I will get you your balloon next week, now I'm leaving. Boy:When will you be here next week? Balloon seller:Told you I'd come..Maybe on friday or saturday.
Boy runs back home.. Boy:Ma could you please please give me five rupees? Mother:What for? Boy:The balloon guy is coming to our village!! And he had this beautiful green balloon.Please please get it for me ma.. Mother:Yeah like your father has earned billions, for me to fulfil every single whim of yours..!
Well how much did you say? Boy:Five rupees ma.. Mother:I'm giving you fifty paise everyday, right? Save it up and buy what you need.. Go on.. Boy:Says who?. one day you give and the next day you don't! Mother:Don't worry, from now on I'll be regular..
A real prat you are! Boy:So..its one rupee..one and a half rupees.. two rupees.. two and a half rupees..
He'll come next week.. what will I do for the rest? Mother:You keep this for now.. I wil give you the rest.. alright. Boy:Monday..tuesday..yes friday.. Mother:Must study well..ok? Boy:That's ok..you said you would give me the money.. Mother:Clever boy..Yes, yes I will give.. Now go get your back.. Boy:Saturday.. over.. Mother:Be careful when you walk across the fields.. Boy:Alright ma.. Mother:Here's the money.
Boy studying at home.. Mother:Oh.. there's no change here..
You're having the change I gave you right? I'll return it once I pay the vegetable woman. Boy:No, I can't give that. Mother:You just need it for the balloon right? I'll get it for you. give me the change now. Boy:No..no..I won't give. Leave it! Mother:You're stepping on your own bookss.. you pest!! You deserve the flogging. I said I'll give it back,right? You won't trust your own mother huh?
In sleep... Boy:Green balloon green balloon (murmuring)
Next morning.. Boy:Five rupees.. wow!!
Boy searching his bag.. Mother:You've been rummaging in your bag since you came back from school, what is it?
Go clean up and take a wash now. Where are you running to?
When Boy returns Mother:Tell me where were you all this time? Boy:I've lost the money, ma.. Mother:Hmmm. thought so.. Pestered me and got it out of me..And now he says he lost it..
Boy:I swear it was in my bag.. But I don't know where it went now.. I've gone and searched all the way I went, ma.. But didn't find it.. It's ok I don't get the balloon.. I'll play with what I already have..
Mother:Go search your bag once again..Must be hidden in one of your notebooks..
Mother:Boy!! IT was lying here all the while and you didn't see it?
Boy:It had fallen here, huh?
"Yippee, was so scared I'll have to forsake the balloon!
Mother:"Wait change your clothes first" Mother:"Hmmm.. somebody here was getting very touchy and all!"
Boy:Who was that, ma?
Waiting by the street for the balloon seller.. Boy:Did you see the balloon man?
Passerby:No, kid
Balloon seller:What are you doing here, lad?
Boy:To buy the balloon, bro..
Balloon seller:What's the hurry.. I was just entering the village..
So which balloon do you need?
Boy:he green on.. Balloon seller:What, this green one??
Boy:Yes,yes.
Balloon seller:That's six rupees..
Boy:You had said five rupees?
Balloon seller:The balloon's six rupees, lad!
Boy:It's became six rupees..huh?
Balloon seller:Yes, I'm taking my life out coming to a village this far.. Now, the rate has gone up. I'm not giving it for anything less than six..
Boy:All I have is five rupees now.. Please take it..I'll give you one rupee when you come back next week. Please don't give that balloon to anyone else till then.. Please, bro..
Balloon seller:What to do with this guy..
Here,take it..
But you have to give me one rupee next week for sure..alright..Now run along..
At home... Mother:BE careful while you walk across the fields..
So after a particularly tough week ( except the historic world cup winning Saturday), this week looks good to me..
I remember a reader's digest report that Indians are the happiest people in the world.. I don't remember the reasons cited but one of them specifically was proved right in my case..
Ofcourse we ought to be the happiest people in the world owing to our festivals.. Each month has a festival.. If not festivals, we have a largely connected family which dare not forget the birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, pending treats, etc etc. So basically we are always celebrating something or the other.. Works as a great mood lifter...
The week started with the festival .. Gudipadwa for Maharashtrians and Ugadi for us South Indians.. Not one of the festivals I look forward to because there isn't much that one could do.. Only delicacies made by Mom and Grandma.. I wasn't exactly excited about the festival but then all the smses from all corners of the world ( Just kidding, only from Mangalore and Dubai) , the preparations by Mom, Facebook taggings etc etc all make the energy contagious and soon I began celebrating..
Helped Mom make paysam and other food..
In the evening had Dinner with Shweta and Akshata.. some quiet time with close friends really makes the day( here the night).. :)
Today college started late. Wasn't really in the mood to go back to college.. Weekend hangover plus waking up is too much an effort.. However, the good girl in me dragged me to the college.. Had only one lectures and yayayay back home to my cozy bed and with my baby!!
Tomorrow regular college .. sob sob.. wake up early.. hurry for that train.. catch that bus.. be there at so and so time... uff the timer begins.. But now I am ready to face it...
The sunshine is back in my life.. Will worry about the eclipse later.. Happy that the clouds have been cleared... :)
PS: Someone again raised the question of my origin ( no no not that, the regional one) confusing it with my surname... Some other day I will talk at length about it.. Well bro just turned off the cooking gas I left on for boiling water..:P I forgot all about it.. Got pretty carried away writing this post... Thank God for the small mercies in my life.. Like not blessing me with a jerk for a brother...
Its weekend.. Had holiday for college and had thought of a hundred ways to spend this day .. As my fate would have it, I m down with cold and fever... Ufff !! Fed up of lying down and doing nothing... This week was not so good for me.. Practically all my practicals went wrong or were tedious.. Starting with the first one of the week which was Pharmaceutics..
1.. Had to submit three preparations for the day.. Imagine this... You have a bad cold and there is constant irritation in your ears... The instructor (coz that is all she does.. cant call her anything more than that) screams on the top of her voice without any actual need to.. Repeats useless things endless times.. Calls out roll numbers until the person too has to increase the pitch to match hers .. I feel she wasn't programmed to listen anything more than her own voice... Lols.. I felt like downing those darn solutions into her throat.. If you were me you would have thought the same.. If by chance you didn't have my degree of patience, I wouldn't object if you even did it..
2.. The last solution didn't turn out transparent brown ( if you happen to be in pharmacy then it was cresol soap solution I was making) Endless combinations I tried to make it happen.. like adding water.. adding others solutions.. everything I could lay my hands on.. Finally gave up and simply added the cresol into my container and submitted. and prayed she doesn't open and test it.. Cresol causes skin to burn.. ( I had a burn of that too.. )
The next session thankfully went on smoothly..
Next day I had my Physical Pharmacy practical exam and with great luck (or hard prayers) I did get something I could do... Shudder to think what would have happened if I had got things I don't know...
Coming to the source of all my despair ... MICROBIOLOGY....
1. Now I understand that if someone locked me up in a closed dish with lots of food... nutrient agar darlings!! then put all sorts of colours on me and then put me under microscope to see which colour I liked , I wouldn't be very co-operative.. I don't grudge the micro organisms that.. But why me??? Everyone did that , then why me always who has to suffer?
2. The miss "will-shout-on-top-of-my-voice-to-get-noticed" is the incharge here too.. Here she doesn't even instruct properly.. Just parrots what others say...
Prayed hard.. worried harder.. worked hardest..but no results.. I screwed it this time... :( That was it...
The positive side is that I realised how much my friends helped me and cared..
1. Akshata giving her solution... bringing extra cresol for the final jugaad in the pharmaceutics lab..
2. Manasi waiting for me even after being asked to leave the lab after her work was done.. ( It's a big risk I swear in micro lab) I was soo worried and she hides near my table and asks "kuch help karu kya?? Diagram banau tere paper me?? Kisika slide lau uthake??? She did some daredevilry I must say..
3. Ketan let me use the microscope the longest time... :) Collected my slides which were strewn all over the lab... Literally!!
SO everything isn't that bad afterall.. Thanks to the special light delights in life.. ITs worth bearing with the difficulties...
P.S : Sorry if I bored you.. But it isn't fair that only I get bored of things.. I mean everyone should get an equal share...
Ahh forgot one thing.. If monkey begin to say they are supermodels.. Then what should girl like me say??? nice thought na.. Making me confident of myself... Thanks to the monkeys!! *Winks* I know the people who got this are rolling with laughter... Others sorry to confuzzze you darlings...
Holi the festival of colours is here... This festival is unique and has a special charm about it.. Is there any festival among soo many festivals that we celebrate, in which we wear old clothes??? Atleast those who celebrate this festival, don't mind being splashed with colored water!! There is no attempt to look good or hide oneself underneath layers of makeup.. We let ourselves be spoiled with colours.. It's liberating... It's soo real... It unites people like no other festival does.. Because we all look alike ... It's like these colors bring a levelling effect on one and all...
This festival is about letting go... Is there a more open display of oneself than having bhang and grooving to "rang barse"??? so much hours of grooming ourself will ever equal that childish joy of splashing colors on one another and following one's primary instincts...
This is one festival that reveals man's spirit in true sense...
Positively charged proton finally posts.. I can't recognise my own blog now.. Hope that he doesnt do his disappearing act very soon..
So college is all time busy.. Karma is catching up.. We are made to compensate for all the missed practicals.. not that it was our fault in the first place.. Can't help if all public holidays chose to come on Wednesdays...
The day was the most difficult thing to start.. I was practically sleepless the whole night yesterday but I am feeling like a winner.. Reason: I could attend the morning lecture without sleeping...
The practical was a dragging torture.. Thanks to our joint efforts it wasn't as bad.. Been limping since morning courtesy :"SHOE BITE"... Don't you think it's ridiculous to pay through one's nose( ok ok its "mom's purse") and then be subjected to this slow biting that later turns to red rashes which eventually cuts in ? Why can't there be "ANTI SHOE BITE" shoes???
There is something interesting I plan to do with this blog.. The regular stuff will keep happening from my side but then there are many things I have always been planning to write but never did... So this week will have some new kind of posts from me...
Finally, Proton is here to spread positive energy and make people smile.Before writing any thing I would like to say few things about life.How many of you are happy with the way you are living?.Trust me there may be very few with a yes or may be I can be proved wrong.Life is un predictable and it is so stupid sometimes that it actually hurts you quite often.I sit in a lonely corner of this room in solitude hoping that someday things would turn better.I look behind to see with few regrets on the life changing decision I'd made to reach this place.What decision and why that I won't be sharing.After having some bad and bitter experience of life I finally realized that I should and infact I could change the way I'm living my life.
Hence,I thought of being positive and spreading positivity just like my name. Luckily my parents name me Proton and here I'm - a positively charged Proton.
Let there be light and there was light.
will be right back soon !!
Life has suddenly turned tasteless.. It's like my soul has been sucked out for some reason.. I m just not feeling myself.. No, no these are not mood swings due to some hormonal up and downs.. It's a feeling of lose.. lose of something integral to me.
Life is ridiculous. why do people become so close to you and then move out of your life? Why can't love overcome ego?
What is the whole point of coming into someone's life, making them feel loved, giving hope and then just making your way out..
Why does it hurt so much even now?
Exams are going on full swing in college.. 2 1 2 1 system took a rest for us first years this periodics.. Do whatever, we are never going to complete our study on time!!
This week has been full of sleepless nights, multiple cups of tea and coffee to keep the eyelids open.. Had two exams today.. Did badly in both.. Result of over stressing, over grasping, less sleeping...
Once the first session got over I pretty much accessed the situation about to come over me in the next session.. I chilled out in the break and studied only in bits... Wonders of wonders.. I could only answer what I had studied in bits.. Figuring out what was the use of all those night toils...
Anyway today is a bit relaxed as tomorrow is a holiday.. Only one more exam to go.. Will catch up on sleep today...
Where are all the bloggers?? None of the blogs I read have been updated.. Freelancer, Solitary writer, chickwit..... Where???????????
Phew!! Its sunday again.. The only day I look forward to and wish it never ended .. Lazing around.. Today something got into me and started cleaning my room... Took me 3 hours....
Was looking through the clutter when I found some things which took me in flashback..
1. My 10th standard coaching classes report.. I had a whooping 97%.. I m sure keeping it to show my grandkids someday.. lols.. can't trust myself to preserve anything that long..
2. Silver medal for essay writing in standard 4th.. My journey of writing started there... priceless..
3. Slam book filled by my classmates in the last month of school.. nostalgic..
4. A wooden carving given by my closest friend which reads, "FRIENDS ARE GOLDEN, BUT MY FRIEND IS GOLD.." It's something I can never misplace...
5. Handmade greetings and some paintings gifted to me during school days..
6. A number of files and more than 7 diaries.. Each diary has a part of me.. Some have my random outbursts at the world.. Some have me at most vulnerable times.. One is a complete dedication to someone..
7. Careful tucked in sheet of paper having all the code words and its meaning.. Its still kept as a memory of those days when GCMT gang had lots of secrets...
8. My first ever diary which consists of only 10 pages.. Written about Kargil war!!! Quite a patriotic I was.. Was barely 6 or 7 then.. Wanted to send my "still to be born bro" into army..What a thought!!!
9. A copy of "My experiments with truth" which is one of the very few books I have started but not completed yet..
10. A rough sheet which was written to justify why I should get the "best student" prize.. It was written by one of my teacher.. I did get that prize..
Told you patriotic I was !!! Forgot to mention.. I did come across my childhood pics and I simply adore my babyself!!!
